Monday, November 4, 2019

The worst date I've ever been on: Part 1

I've tried writing out this story so many times. Each time, I get so exhausted. It's a good story, but it is LONG. And it's so frustrating, I get drained partway through telling it.

This took place 4 years ago. I was young (I mean, I know I still am, but . . . still), and I did a lot of things in this situation that I would no longer do. That's partly why I hate telling this story. There was so much I should've done that I didn't do. But it's okay, because this experience taught me a lot.


I've broken this story into parts, and each post will be one part of the story. Hopefully, I'll actually be able to finish the story and you all can enjoy this painful, painful experience for me.

So, without further ado,

This is the story of the worst date I have ever been (and will ever be) on:

Chapter 1.
The shortest chapter

I met Jacob at church (name has been changed). He was pretty attractive, though looking back now, I don't know what I saw in him, because he really isn't my type. He was kind of funny, kind of nerdy.

One day, I was feeling bold, and approached him after church and began flirting with him. I was hinting that he should ask for my number, and lo and behold, he actually asked for my number!

I happily gave it to him, then walked away . . .

Feeling absolutely sick to my stomach.

I had never experienced this before (and I haven't experienced it since), and I don't know if ya'll have either, but I walked away just thinking, "I should not have done that. I do not feel good about this."

Image result for hagrid i should not have said that gif 

But I didn't know how to get out of the situation. So, I walked away hoping he'd chicken out of asking me out or something.

A few hours later, I was awoken from a nap by an unknown number calling me, and dread filled me. I knew it was him, and I knew I had to answer and get it over with.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hi Carmen. It's Jacob."


"How are you?" he asked.

"I'm good."


. . . . . .
. . . . . .
. . . . . .
. . . . . .
. . . . . .

"So, what's up?" I asked, finally breaking the silence.

"I was wondering if you'd like to hang out on Saturday?"

I rolled my eyes.

Image result for liz lemon eye roll

Okay, now look. Asking people on dates is nerve wracking, intimidating and hard. I've done it, I hate it, I get it. But it still bugs me when people say "hang out" instead of "date."

Not to mention my stomach started to fill with extreme dread upon hearing these words.

But I didn't know how to get out of this situation. I had flirted with him, hinted that he should ask for my number, had given him. I felt awkward. How could I turn him down?

If this situation had happened to me now, I would've said, "Hey look, I'm sorry, I thought I was interested but I'm not. I want to be upfront with you and let you know that. Thanks for asking, but I'm gonna say no."

But I didn't hadn't yet learned that it's okay to say no to dates.

In fact, this would be the experience that taught me that it's okay to say no to dates. Sure, it may sting, but at least they're saving money, ammiright?

Anyway, instead of turning him down like I should've, I said, ". . . Okay."

"Great! What would you like to do?"

I repeat: I know asking someone on a date is hard, intimidating and nerve wracking. You also want to make sure you do an activity that the other person likes, and sometimes you're not entirely sure what they'd be into.

. . . . . but I also hate when they ask me what I'd want to do. You asked me. At least come up with a couple options!

Which is (kind of, not really) what I said.

"What are my options?" I asked.

"I was thinking we could watch a movie, or go for a hike!" he said.

"Oh - um, I'm fine with either."

"Okay! Let's do both!" he exclaimed.

"O-okay." I said, when really I was thinking, 'BOTH?! FOR A FIRST DATE?! HOW BOUT NO?!'

Image result for liz lemon no

"O-okay." I said, when really I was thinking, 'BOTH?! FOR A FIRST DATE?! HOW BOUT NO?!'

So, the conversation ends, and I hand up feeling even more dread. My gut was telling me to run, but I didn't know how to get out of the situation.

The day of the date came, and I was still filled with dread. I didn't want to go, and my gut was screaming at me repeatedly not to.

 I was eating lunch with my friend, expressing my frustration to her.

"I just don't want to go, but I don't know how to get out of the situation," I said.

"How about this," she said. "You tell him that I'm having a panic attack, and you need to cancel."

"I don't know . . ." I said, thought my brain was saying, 'YES.'

"Either that, or I can actually put myself into a panic attack and you can stay with me --."

"Don't do that," I said, taking out my phone. "I'll cancel."

'Hey,' I typed out in a text to him, 'I'm with a friend and she's having a panic attack. I'm going to have to reschedule for another time, because I want to be with her and make sure she's okay.'

'Okay, that's fine :) ' he responded.

'Thanks for understanding. See you at church tomorrow!'

Relief filled me. It's like my body and gut were thanking me. I thanked my friend, and we spent the rest of the evening Jacob-free.

But that's not the end of this story.

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