Wednesday, November 6, 2019

The worst date I've ever been on: Part 3 and 4

Chapter 3
Mansplaining

This is just . . . it gives you an idea of the kind of kid I was dealing with. 

It had been a few weeks since I had cancelled our date, and it had yet to be rescheduled. I wasn't complaining. I thought maybe he wouldn't ask me out again . . . except he was still flirting with me. And I quickly found out his way of "flirting" was actually just insulting.

He called me stupid for liking heat over cold, stupid for having an iPhone, and stupid because I had never gone skiing.

Cause, you know, I always melt over a guy who insults me. 

I had stopped flirting with him. I stopped engaging in conversation with him, but he was relentless. 

As I mentioned in Chapter 1, there's a lot of things I did back then that I wouldn't do now. Putting up with his crap is one of those things. 

One day, he sat next to me during church. Now, to prevent myself from falling asleep in church, I color. I have a plethora of adult coloring books and twisty crayons. So, I'm sitting there, coloring, and Jacob plops down next to me. 

". . . you hold your pencil wrong." 

Now, this isn't exactly news to me. I've been told before that I hold my pencil differently. But guess what? I'm still able to write/color just fine. 

"Oh, I know," I said, and kept coloring. 

"Let me show you how to hold your pencil." 

"No thanks," I said. 

"No, let me show you," he said AND HE GRABBED FOR MY TWISTY CRAYON WHILE I WAS USING IT.

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I yanked it away from his hand and said, "You know, writing this way has been working really well for me for the past 20 years, okay?!" 

"No, just let me show you how to hold it!" 

He grabbed for my pencil AGAIN. 

"NO." I said. 

"No, I'll show you how to hold it!" 

"Fine," I grumbled angrily, and handed him my twisty crayon. 

He positioned it in his hand and said, "See?" 

"Great," I said, and snatched my twisty crayon back, and went right back to how I was holding it. 

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I just . . . I couldn't deal with it.

I told my coworker about it the next week, and his response was, "Okay, that's the worst case of mansplaining I have ever heard of." 

". . . oh my gosh it totally is!" 

But I still wasn't done dealing with his mansplaining.


Chapter 4
The Wedding Reception

I have to say, I admire this man's persistence. I certainly don't have the kind of dedication he does. It'll probably get him far in life.

I was at church again, heading towards the main room, when I turned the corner and BOOM, there was Jacob.

"Hello," he said.

"Hi."

"I was wondering, would you like to hang out this weekend?"

I had come to the conclusion that I would just have to go out with this kid to get him to stop asking me to 'hang out' with him.

"Honestly, I'm pretty busy. What day were you thinking?"

"Oh - what are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm going to a wedding reception on Friday, and on Saturday—"

"Oh! Whose is it?"

"A friend from my religious mission...."

"Okay, I'll go with you!"

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I was stunned that he had just invited himself to a random wedding reception, and tried to tell him 'no' in a round-about way.

"Well I'm carpooling with two of my friends there," I said.

"Oh, I can meet you there. Where is it?"

"Provo - and honestly I think it'd be awkward if you came because . . . well, I'm going to be hanging out with my friends, and you don't know them."

"But if I come, people at the reception won't ask you why you're not married or dating anyone!"

". . . . they already don't ask me that," I said.

And I don't want them asking if WE'RE dating. . . I thought to myself.

"They do at the ones I go to," he huffed. "Anyway, do you want to carpool, or want me to meet you there?"

Again. His persistence will get him far in life. Just not in this case.

"Honestly, I think it would be uncomfortable for me if you came," I said.

"That's fine - I can meet you there."

Oh dear goodness. 

"No," I reiterated. "I'd feel uncomfortable if you came."

"What?" he asked.

I wasn't sure if he didn't actually hear me, of if he just didn't understand.

". . .It would be uncomfortable if you came. I feel uncomfortable . . . with you."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes."

"Oh, okay. That's fine," he said, disappointed.

Guilty Carmen came in and I sputtered, "But we can hang out after if you want!"

Dang it. 

Thankfully, he declined, and my friends and I at the wedding reception had a good laugh about it that weekend.

The next week, I was back at church, and once again, he cornered me.

"Hello," he said.

"Hi."

"Would you like to go on a date with me this weekend?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, in pure shock that he actually said 'date.'

I'm not even kidding when I say 'shock.' Cause it's like I had an out-of-body experience saying 'yes.' I just wasn't even aware that I said it. It just came out. I just blurted it out. Just . . . yes.

"Great!" he said, "How about Saturday?"

"Friday would work better."

"Okay. Would you like to do a movie or a walk?"

This time I knew better than to say 'either,' and so I said, "A movie."

"Okay, we'll go see a movie. I'll text you more details."

And with that, he walked away.

The inevitable date had finally been set up.

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And it was gonna be a doozy.

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